Mr and Mrs Ego
by Jaiaelle
Summary: "I refuse to be seen with you if you're wearing THAT." Written for the Quartie ficathon.


_Author's Note" I haven't been in the writing mood of late but...I'm trying for the ficathon. The Quartie ficathon. For which this was written. Also, if there is a ever a sixth one of these...idek. It would be horrendous. I would watch without sound if Orlando was in it. Mmm...Orlando. LOL_

_ Please read and review. THANKS a ton. :)_

_Prompt: "I refuse to be seen with you if you're wearing THAT." + "What? This is amazing!"_

**_Mr. and Mrs. Ego_**

The night before the sixth Pirates movie was scheduled to be released, Quinn made potato soup for dinner. Artie would never forget because, in all her excitement for the premiere, she ladled a spoonful of soup into his lap rather than into his bowl. After apologizing profusely and tending to the damage, she sat across him from, lifting spoonfuls of soup to her mouth but never actually taking a bite.

"Orlando Bloom, baby!' she gushed. "Orlando Bloom is back!"

Sipping some soup from his own spoon, Artie commented demurely, "That's because he couldn't get any other work."

Stirring her soup, she replied, "Yes, but that doesn't mean they had to ask him. I cannot wait until tomorrow!"

Raising an eyebrow, he murmured, "Quite aware of that. I almost feel as if I should be jealous of Orlando here."

She gave a roll of her eyes then finally consumed some of her soup. "Yeah, right. Who's hotter between the two of you?"

Smirking, he responded, "Me, of course."

Rising, she poured her mostly uneaten soup back into the pot and started putting things away. "Clearly. Just look at you!"

"I do every day, woman. I think you're lucky that you get to wake up next to me every morning."

Laughing a little, she took his bowl, washing it quickly and placing it on the drying rack. "I have a surprise, Mr. Ego."

"Mr. Ego?" Making a face, he shook his head. "I don't like that nickname."

Walking across the bright white linoleum floor, she deposited herself in his lap. "Don't you want to see the surprise? It's in the bedroom, Mr. Ego."

Narrowing his eyes, Artie rolled backwards, spun around, then pushed them towards the bedroom. "I'm going to start calling you Mrs. Ego if you keep that up."

"It would be fitting," she whispered, her breath tickling his ear. "Since I am your Mrs."

Once in the bedroom, he dumped her on the bed. "Surprise," he ordered, crossing his arms over his chest and waiting.

Giggling, Quinn jumped to her feet and commanded him to close his eyes, reminding him that there could be, "No peeking!" A few minutes of rustling and curses under the breath later, Quinn told him he could open his eyes. "Ta da!" she sang, doing a little twirl.

Mouth open, he surveyed her pirate attire. A black corset, laced loosely, offset a white puffy shirt. Her pants were tight and black, half covered by shiny also black boots that ran up to her knees. Hanging on her hip was a holster, complete with fake (he hoped fake) pistol. On top of her head was a big hat, fluffy white feather adorned to one side. To really complete the effect, she had fastened a fake parrot to her shoulder.

"What do you think?" she asked, her eyes practically glowing. "I got you one too. It's right -"

"I refuse to be seen with you if you're wearing THAT."

Obviously hurt, Quinn sank to the bed, tucking her booted feet underneath her. "What? This is amazing!"

Wheeling himself in front of her, he reached out and plucked the bird off her shoulder, throwing it across the room. "Much better. But, seriously, you want us to dress up for this movie? I mean, dress up to go see a movie? And THIS movie? You know it's going to be really bad, right? Have you read the reviews?"

Jutting out her bottom lip and widening her now watery eyes, she nodded. "Yes but…Orlando."

Sighing, Artie maneuvered himself next to her, wrapping both arms around her slim figure. "Fiiiiine. I guess I'll dress up if it's important to you but this is the one and only time...I do this in public."

Grinning, she turned towards him, falling against him in her exuberance and pressing him to the bed's mattress. "Thanks, baby." In an attempt to further show her gratitude, she rained light kisses all over his face.

"Besides, you look super hot, especially without that parrot. We'll keep these around, I think."

Smiling, she brushed his bangs, which were getting too long, out of his eyes and kissed him. "I want to see you in yours."

Beaming up at her, he quipped, "You need to wait til tomorrow, Mrs. Ego."

"Oh, Artie," she sighed, rubbing her nose against his. "That's a long time away."

Holding her tighter, he said, "I'm teaching you a valuable lesson in patience."

"I hate it when you do that." Snuggling closer, she rested her head on his chest. Soon enough, Artie knew she was asleep as her breathing deepened and became even. After removing her boots, the holster and the hat, he tucked her into bed, then crawled beside her.

"Goodnight, my pirate lass…Mrs. Ego."

From somewhere in her half sleeping half awake state, she muttered, "G'night…Mr…Ego…


End file.
